Reducing the Stress of Homeschooling

One of the things that parents dread most about lockdown, is the prospect of home schooling their kids for the next however many months. If you’re trying to homeschool and work at the same time, you have your work cut out even more. The amount of stressing that I see parents do is often because they have too high expectations of themselves and they’re going in with a perfectionistic approach. All we’re aiming for here is good enough not perfect or the absolute best. Whatever you are managing to do is good enough, these are extremely stressful times for everyone so don’t add extra, unnecessary stress.  The other main reason is because the school is unfairly piling expectations and pressure on to parents. Don’t let them, if your kids school is doing this, know they are missing the bigger picture so take no notice. At the end of the day, it isn’t our responsibility to home educate our children like this, it is the schools which is why they get paid for it and we don’t.

 What is our responsibility is the mental wellbeing of our children so don’t lose perspective, this is more important than completing tasks so the school can tick boxes.

 We are living in unprecedented times with lots of uncertainty and change for our children so it’s more important to create an environment of safety and security for them to lessen the impact of the pandemic. That is harder to undo and make right than simply catching up on work.

 On the first day of homeschooling my children, I ended up spending a lot of time fighting with technology.  One computer couldn’t find the printer (it’s right there you ******), so I had to use another but then that one wouldn’t scan for uploading work so I had to go back to the first and then I realised it didn’t have a webcam for the online story time so back to the second one again and of course the printer is out of ink and I have no idea where I put the new ink. Now I have no patience with technology and was getting to the point of throwing it out the window. I was already starting to feel stressed and hadn’t even started home schooling yet. I could have pushed forward with ‘I must homeschool her and get some of the work done’ but I would have been going in stressed, my daughter would have picked up on it and stress is not an environment conducive for learning.

There is no point trying to teach children anything if you are all stressed. As soon as you get stressed, walk away. You want your children to associate learning and education as something positive not stress. Otherwise you strengthen the connection in the brain so in the future, they will also get more easily get stressed when learning.

So we abandoned it all and went off for a walk and paddle in the flooded river instead. We had lots of fun,laughter and fresh air and returned home more deeply connected again which is more important than getting stuff done in a hurry for what? Because we ‘should’ be homeschooling. What we ‘should’ be doing most importantly is looking after our own and our children’s mental health. No point getting that piece of work done if as a result everyone mental health suffers and so does the relationship, what children need most is parents with good mental health, not having completed a piece of work. It’s important to keep sight of what is actually a priority and that is everyone’s mental health as we’ve got weeks of this to come, not completing some task. That’s a hefty price to pay just so you can send something in to make the school happy.

Do what works best for you. For us maths is easy to keep on top of, it’s the science work that ends up producing more stress in both of us because although a fun activity if you have time and nothing else to do, it involves more input from me so I save this for when I’m not trying to get other things done at the same time (and this is how I ended up stressed whilst writing this- trying to help my daughter make a shadow puppet at the same time, not a good idea, you will get stressed! I’m off for an hour in the bath with my book to get back to calm and relaxed again).

There are many ways to educate children using the real world so do what you and they feel like- building LEGO, making puzzles, cooking, being out in nature, watching Blue Planet, painting, free play which developmentally is very Important. The curriculum is primary school is far too narrow so here is your opportunity to widen it. Here is the opportunity for your child to experiment with everything in the world to find where their true passion lies.

I want happy memories of homeschooling and this time. And I am making memories that I will treasure forever. Outside of the usual stress of routine and fast, relentless pace of our culture, the removal of time pressure has meant less drill seargant and more earth mother . It’s like the carefree times we experience in the summer holidays where we have time to linger and really connect with each other. I’ve spent mornings where the kids have woken up and joined me in bed and we’ve whiled away the time cuddling and chatting. Homeschooling for me won’t conjur up images of stress, but rather of my daughter age 9 working away in her pjs and my heels she nicked from my wardrobe in the morning and in a dress, the heels with a wine glass of orange juice In the afternoon . My eldest daughter experimenting with goth ‘at school’ wearing her bottom half of her witches costume, and cloak, black lipstick and biker boots. Meandering days and adventures outside. And sooooo much laugher, fun and joy.